Out of Tune with Domesticity
Archive for June, 2009
Hey, Jude.
Jun 30th
I can’t believe how big Jude is getting. Despite the four months he didn’t grow at all, he’s still a good size. Round cheeks, chubby thighs. One would never know he doesn’t like to eat.
His current fascination is with putting things into other things. Example: the other day, he journeyed into our bedroom, around our bed to Andi’s side where he found one running shoe. He then, with all this chubby-armed might, proceeded to carry the shoe by its shoelace, back around our bed and out of our room. He stopped in the hallway, where he opened the basket in the back of Adrien’s tricycle and then attempted to hoist said shoe into said basket. That may seem like no amazing feat…but I assure it you, it was. It astounds me that he is able to carry out such an arduous mission! The entire thing took about five minutes. And did he set out to find an object to place in the tricycle basket? Or did he just happen along Andi’s shoe and think to himself how well it would fit into the tricycle basket. Small wonders as I went through my Sunday morning rush to church.
Putting things into things More >
Come on already
Jun 29th
Sometimes it just feels like there’s a giant wave of shit crashing down on you. Or like you’re caught in some giant tempest and God is throwing all he’s got at you. There are times when I feel like I just can’t get a break. I can’t even catch my breath. It’s like one thing happens, and then another and another. And on and on, and pretty soon I’m surrounded by so much stuff I can’t get free of any of it. It’s baggage. And it weighs me down to the point that I can’t drop enough of it and free myself in order to get ahead. I just get stuck.
It’s never just one thing. It’s a million things, all at once. I can never have just one thing wrong at a time; I have to multitask the shit carousel…the cycle of crap that just keeps going ’round in my life. I wonder, am I the pawn in some game. Like Job between God and Satan? Is this the let’s throw all we’ve got at her and see how she fares game? The let’s see how she reacts to all of these problems show? I can’t help but wonder.
Last year it was the More >
Boys’ First Beach Trip
Jun 28th
This past week the boys and I took a rather impromptu trip to the beach with my Mom. I’d been craving some beach action — I haven’t actually been to the beach since my honeymoon…and that was a few Novembers ago. I think the last time I made it to the beach during beach weather, was probably the summer after my senior year in high school. That summer, I lived in Galveston with my Mom for a while before moving off to college. I miss the coast.
So I went back, and for the first time ever, the boys got to experience it. They loved it! It was also nice to get to spend some quality time with Mom away from the stress of her being the soul caregiver to my Grandfather. She was able to score a live-in for him, who helps my Mom out and gives her break on her days off in return for free rent. The live-in was off for a few days, so my Mom and I grabbed the chance to go since my Grandpa will be having surgery July 6, and who knows when the next available getaway chance for my Mom will be.
I was More >
Procedures and Painting
Jun 17th
Big medical day for the family: Jude got tubes in his ears and my Mom had a cervical biopsy. Both went well. Jude is absolutely fine, and it looks like we got tubes in just in time — he had another infection starting. The doctor told my Mom that all of the growths looked pre-cancerous. If the internal cervix biopsy comes back positive, she can be taken care of with a quick in-patient procedure; if it comes back negative, a quick out-patient surgery. Either way, it doesn’t look like we’ll be facing any chemo or radiation. Thank, God.
It was also a big day for me, personally. Today, I painted for the first time in years. I put the brush to canvas and it was odd how it felt like I’d only just left it yesterday. The sound and feel of the brush strokes were so familiar. I felt like I’d been painting all along. Must be something like it is to talk to an old friend; almost like you never lost touch. Painting felt good. When I paint, I feel like I must be doing something I was created to do…the one thing God set aside for me to share More >
The Nine to Five Friendship
Jun 9th
Something that has been on my mind a lot lately are friendships.
In the life of a mommy, there are two types of friends. Friends you had before you were a mom and those that you made after the start of your career as a mom. And friends are friends. To an extent.
Do you remember your school days? Days before family…responsibility. Friends were always there, a shoulder to cry on, someone to hang out with, someone with which to share your entire life story and then some. Friends were everything, right? Wasn’t it great? Now look around. Do you see any of those sorts of relationships now? Not counting your spouse and kids, do you share much of yourself with anyone? Not likely.
For some reason, after you grow up and get married — have kids — friendships change. Somewhere in there, a line gets drawn and friends you had from before grow more distant and new friends that are accumulated stay a safe distance. You meet a new mom at the play ground or in a mommy group. You may even get pretty close. But is it high-school friend close? No. Never before have I ever felt as lonely as I More >