I recently found out an old acquaintance from high school sent out invitations to her son’s first birthday party, upon which were listed a host of registry locations. That’s right. Registry locations. For birthday presents. In what society is that acceptable? I was only made aware of this because a friend of mine received said invitation and put up a little blurb on Facebook about it.

Registries are great tools…for things like weddings and babies. But birthdays? Come. On. Are we trying to be so in control of our lives that we can’t even leave our kids’ birthday gifts up to serendipity. Sure, there’ll be a few what was that person thinking gifts unwrapped. In my opinion, that’s just part of it — and why man invented the gift receipt.

So registries for birthdays — tacky or trusty? Most people I asked, had the same exactly response: That’s crazy! My personal advice if you receive an invitation with registry locations listed? Purchase a gift from a store not listed, and try to make it a toy not requested. But maybe that’s just me trying to get under people’s skin.

The friend who received the invitation to buy pre-picked gifts got this response on her Facebook post from one friend:

It’s tacky. and I mean, like waaaay tacky. It’s tasteless and shameful. It’s asking for gifts. Screw them. They don’t need gifts. I wouldn’t buy the kid a gift at all if I found out mommy registered for crap. Aww, sorry Timmy, you didn’t get any presents. Why not mom? Because I’m a shameless hussy and asked people to buy you stuff. You suck, Mom. I know.

A few weeks back I attended a birthday party for a friend’s child who was turning 3. Her invite requested that we all bring a pair of new shoes for a school-aged child to the party in lieu of a gift for her child.

A few months back, when I was looking for ideas and themes for Adrien’s birthday, I ran across more than one person who suggested this as an idea for a party. The whole thing didn’t sit well with me, not because I’m stingy or anything…but because I don’t think my child is quite old enough to grasp the whole thing. He’s only three, and I’m sorry — but charity just isn’t on his mind. In his mind, birthdays are about parties, friends, cake and presents. I can just imagine trying to explain to him that the boxes showing up at his party weren’t for him. In my opinion, charity has a time and a place; it’s wonderful to teach your child about philanthropy. But I’m choosing to do that on days other than his birthday…at least while he’s so young.

I think doing the donation bit is wonderful for older children. And it’s wonderful if you’re doing it for a cause you feel strongly about…but as far as the Mommy Circuit is concerned, I totally see it as another way of saying, Look at my child and our family. We are above asking for gifts at a birthday party. My child is mature. And honestly, I’m really not saying that everyone feels this way — I know my friend didn’t have the shoe donations for any of those reasons. I’m just sayin’. So before you get your big ol’ granny panties in some sort of knot, I ask for your understanding of the Mommy Circuit.

Fellow blogger, Sara from My Party of 5 put it best when she tweeted this: I would never register for bday presents. I love the charity idea but I don’t think kids can grasp the concept yet.

And then there are the parents who do the outlandishly extravagant parties for their kids. I’m guilty of going a little overboard with the details. (I mean, helllooo, nothing says happy birthday like 17 gumpaste fire trucks!) I remember talking about a fellow blogger (Angry Julie from Angry Julie Monday) who blogged about a tremendously expensive cake that was a party she attended for one of her child’s friends. Not to mention all of the celebrity tots we see making headlines with their birthday bashes, often costing upwards of hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Has our culture become so pretentious that all of these things override the simple childhood joy of a good ol’ fashioned birthday party? I sure hope not.